Beside You Now
by tabithaa xoxo
Summary: Jacob and Edward's feelings about Bella. SongFic.


disclaimer : i do not own twilight characters xoxo

this might be kinda confusing. lets say, bold is **jacob **. regular is edward ? :)

__

I know where I'm supposed to be,  
Beside you now,  
But they won't let me.  
They're taking you away.

**If this was a normal world, it would be me and her. Thats how it's suppose to be. We were soulmates, even she knows that. If this was a normal world, me and her would be destined. But since this world is anything but normal, she's with him. I know it's suppose to be us, but they are taking her away from me. I wish it was different, I wish it was possible. But then again, in a normal world she would be picking between Edward and I, not between werewolf and vampire...  
**_  
So here I'll lay,  
Eventually I'll waste away and they'll come get me  
To place me next to you.  
Right next to..._

**When this is all over, when she makes her decision, (and i know who she'll pick), i'll never return. It won't be necessary, I will remain in my wolf form, unable to feel the pain i feel. That will be enough. Until it's time to move on, but it will still always be me and her. In my head, it always will remain the same. **

_  
Beautiful, letting go of all we've held on to.  
Why can't I, why can't I?  
Beautiful, letting go of all you know is true.  
Why can't I, let you go?_

This is wrong, I know that. It's impossible for me to let her go. She shouldn't be letting go of everything, just to be damned to this life with me . I wouldn't make her do that. I tried to convince her, but she is unfaltering in her decision. She is so quick to give everything away. Shes just so beautiful...__

And on and on and until,  
I see no good to be angry wth myself.  
I'll toss and turn tonight.  
When did I get so uncivilized?  
I could not awake from seeping.  
I could do just fine, for most of the time,  
'Til see my own reflection.

It's really not necessary to be angry at myself over this, but I am. If i was not what I am, there is no way she would be trapped in this decision. She would be living a normal life, and I would not be hurting her. When did I become so cruel, that I could just do this to her ? I can be fine, when I see her smile, it's okay. But always, at the end of the day, that mirror shows me who I really am - and I hate it...__

So tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.  
I could not continue sleeping.  
I can fool myself for most of the time,  
Until I see my own reflection.  
'Cause that reminds me of...

As long as shes by my side, telling me that i'm not a monster - that i'm not hurting her - i could maybe not completely hate this. I could convince myself if leaving her hurts her that bad, maybe this would be best. If leaving would destroy her, well, what is this going to do? Still, the mirror doesn't lie.__

Beautiful, letting go of all we've held on to.  
Why can't I, why can't I?  
Beautiful, letting go of all you know is true.  
Why can't I, let you go?

I don't understand how I could be this..captivated by a human. She appeared to be normal, but she was anything other than that. She was the most amazing thing this world ever produced. She was everything I ever needed, and even I could not explain why this was. It is not fair for me to feel this way about her, she shouldn't feel this way about me...

_  
And what else could have happened?  
Oh my dear, all my life, without you?  
And what else could have happened?  
So come away, come away with me love._

**What would have happened, I wonder, if she had chose me? I could have made her happy, I could have fulfilled her dreams. I could have been everything she needed, but i've never gotten that chance. I wish she would just come with me, we could run away from here and be free - together. THATS HOW IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE.**__

And I'll find the place you keep your favorite things  
Try to make you fall in love, I can't be sure  
And now I know in my heart,  
I never lost a thing 'til I lost you, my love.

**She made her decision, I knew that from the beginning. It's always been him. I still tried, I tried everyday. Failing, but at least I attempted. She could see my side, she saw me trying to make her dreams come true, she saw how much I loved her - maybe love isn't enough ? I tried to convince her it would have been better, i've never hurt her - I couldn't hurt her... No matter how much pain i've been in throughout my life, i feel i've never lost a thing, never once hurt, until I felt the pain of her decision come crashing on me..**__

My beautiful letting go of all we've held on to.  
Why can't I, why can't I?  
Beautiful, letting go of all you know is true.  
Why can't I, let you go?  
  
**I wish there was a way to get her out of my head, out of my heart .  
**I wish there was a way to make her happy, without hurting her.  
**I wish I could've been the one you wanted to be with.  
**I wish this wouldn't be so hard for you...  
**I wish this could've turned out differently..  
Why **Can't** I **let** you **go**?**

eh, it's not the best - but this idea popped into my head :)  
tell me what you think :D

song is : "beside you now" ;; the fold .

xoxo_  
_


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